Sport has always played an integral part in my life, growing up in a home that at times was a very scary place. I used sport as a way to get me out of the house but also to get the approval from my father.
I played some kind of sport every day of the year, sport became my identity. At 18 years of age I moved from my home in Canada to play professional ice hockey in the UK. I loved it! I had friendship, accountability and a brotherhood and some amazing few years of winning leagues and championships – including a few caps for the Great Britain Lions.
As a player I was also fighting an inward battle of just feeling different. I was driven by fear, fear of not being accepted and of being judged. When I stopped playing these fears grew. I had a new career as a live sports broadcaster and I ran a production company. On the outside it looked like I had it all. However on the inside I felt like a fraud and that I did not deserve any of it.
Up to this point in my life I never really drank and I did not do drugs. In the nightclubs of London I was introduced to the combination of cocaine and martinis. My life took a drastic turn and within a short space of time I was on a 15 year journey of disconnection and isolation. Alcoholism brought me to my knees and almost death.